Tonight I want to be who I came from. The 80s. The 80s represents to the same things to so many people. But an 80s child is an 80s child.
In the 80s, I was so carefree I stole everything I could from anywhere I thought I might. In the 80s I was very unafraid of being romantic. In the 80s I was afraid I’ll never grow up to leave home. So I hurried the process of growing up. This of course meant that it caused a lot of anguish, in the anguish I never thought today I’d come to accept, as a romantic aspect of myself that has little to do with age. I keep waiting for myself to grow old, to grow out of it, and still my expectations of life hinge on love.
Someone said I am the last punk in Singapore. That remark has made me think a little too often, about what it means to me. Eeks! That’s what punks do, they don’t care what it was meant to be, but what it means to them! What is punk to me is both the natural and chosen forms of inclination to think on your own terms, feel and thus let others into a world that is lost. Why should I want to enter a world that is without memories? I want anguish. Until I am far up in the clouds and anguish is that part of my corpse.
These songs, and so many more, remind me of a past. Sometimes when I hear a song on the radio, I feel like it is when morning hasn’t come to the window, and I must brush my teeth, and go to school.
What were you doing in the 80s? I bet your songs were mine too.